Special Birthday Confession!

Special Birthday Confession!

I am really happy to be turning 23, but probably not for the reason you think.

Ok so here's the thing. I got married at 21. In the Mormon world, that's a normal age for a girl, if not even a little late. In the non-Mormon world, it's young. Getting married really had nothing to do with age for my husband and I, but rather it just being the right time. We had been together for 4 years when we got married (almost unheard of in Mormon culture). I had finished my school stuff, and it was really just the perfect time for us. 

Living outside the Mormon bubble of Rexburg, I started to feel incredibly young to be married. We were the only people we knew, our age, in our situation. But it didn't really matter, because we had done what was right for us, and it was great. 

I won't lie though, getting pregnant at 22 felt like too young. You already know our reasons for starting a family now instead of later, but man, I was like, holy crap I'm only 22. 

Today, I am 23. 

Age is just a number, but that number makes me feel better. For some reason, in my weirdo mind, having a baby at 23 feels more acceptable than 22. I know, it doesn't make sense. 

This year, I could probably care less about presents and attention. All I wanted was that number. Don't get me wrong though, I won't refuse the presents or attention ;). 

You might be thinking right now, "Albs, you're a weirdo." Well, you would be right. 

Confession #6

Confession #6

I was perfectly comfortable with my changing body, that is, until it became pool season...

Ok. Before you launch into the "what's happening to your body is natural" and "pregnancy is beautiful," let me explain.

First off, I have never been this big before. That's probably common among first time pregnant women. Nonetheless, I was loving my growing bump and the way I looked so dang cute in my little maternity clothes. I wasn't even bothered by the stretch marks or by my older clothes no longer fitting. Seriously, after I got over morning sickness, I hopped on the train to happy-loving-pregnancy land. 

I was still on that train the first day I headed over to the pool for some reading and sun. My bump wasn't all that big yet, so the only uncomfortable part about my poolside afternoon was trying to get sun on the back side of my body without laying on my belly. 

As time went on, though, and my bump grew, things got....strange. 

I started getting...looks. Weird looks. Mean looks. Rude looks. Of course, this could be another case of "pregnancy paranoia," but in the end, whether it is real or in my head is basically beside the point.

Surrounded by the beach-ready bikini bodies at the pool, I started to feel self-conscious. I'm no longer thin, which I was totally cool with, especially because if you don't get a belly while you're pregnant, you probably have a problem. But I still started to feel weird.

Then I started getting the looks. The looks that said, "I look better than you fatty," or "we're hot and young and you are big and pregnant." These looks didn't stop me from going to the pool. At that point, I was hoping that I was just being paranoid. 

Then yesterday I got straight up stared down. It was like the lady wasn't even trying to hide the fact that she was looking at me. Her look was even worse than the others. It felt like cancer-causing rays even worse than the ones from the sun were bearing into me. And her nasty look said, "You don't belong here. Skinny, tan people in bikinis belong here. Go away." 

Suddenly I was all like, "I'm Shamu." 

I went home soon after, feeling not so great about myself and my body. But then I had an epiphany! Don't you just love those!

I am growing a baby. It is by far the coolest thing I have ever done in my life. I get to make a person, and then have a sweet little boy, and be a mom forever. That is beyond awesome. In order to do that, my body has to change, and that is just part of the experience. Yeah, skinny and tan can be beautiful, but I know that pregnancy is beautiful. I am beautiful. My unborn son is beautiful and when he is born he'll be even more beautiful. 

So now I go to the pool, and I look around at all the pretty women (look, not rudely stare...) and think, I belong here too. Then I slip on my sunglasses, pull out my book, and enjoy the sun. 

Confession #5

Confession #5

I most definitely lost the gender bet.

Yes, this means baby Aronow is.......

A BOYYYYY!!!!!!! (Photos and editing by Lindsey McLaughlin)

I'm actually really really excited! I'm going to be greatly outnumbered but I don't even care. 

So here's the whole story: You already know about the diaper bet between my husband and me. As the days counted down to our ultrasound, I got more and more excited. My mom came into town the day before the appointment. 

Little fact about my mom: She did ultrasound for 15 years, which is a big part of why she came to this appointment. 

This appointment for our ultrasound was made at a high risk specialist's office because of the risk of heart and/or kidney defects courtesy of moi. Sorry baby, bad genes :( My mom wanted to come not only because she has never been there for the reveal of the gender for one of her grandbabies, but also so that she could have a good look for herself at baby's heart and kidneys. I also really appreciated her coming because she could explain what she was seeing to me. Sometimes the techs and doctors don't really want to explain it all the way.

So, we all showed up at the appointment: Me, Jaden, and Momma. 

The first thing we had to do was meet with a genetic counselor and go through this in depth family history of illness and disease for both sides. I was really glad my mom was there for that part because she knew all the details and fancy disease names that I just didn't have a handle on. It was during the genetic counseling session that it was decided that baby's kidneys also needed to be monitored. Good thing this kid has a really healthy dad, right! 

After we finished with the genetic counselor and I had a lovely dose of holy-crap-I-hope-my-baby-is-ok, we went in for the actual ultrasound. The tech was really nice. She knew that we didn't know the gender, but were excited to find out. She started and it was so cool to see our baby looking like a baby! We got to see such cool pictures of his head and his spine and all that. It was also really funny because he had his hand on his head and his arm kind of up in the air, which is exactly how Jaden sleeps!!! I'm not even kidding. He's taking after Daddy and he isn't even out of the womb yet! 

The tech continued with what she was doing, measuring, and checking, and, I don't know, whatever it is they do, and suddenly my mom lets out this crazy gasp. I, of course, am thinking she saw something wrong with my son and I immediately freak out slightly. But then the tech turns to my mom and says, "Do you want to tell them?" 

My mom breaks out in this huge smile and says, "ITS A BOY!" 

Jaden also broke out in a huge smile and I was just like, "Wait, are you sure?" 

Don't get me wrong, I didn't feel disappointed. I didn't feel upset or let down in anyway. I felt shocked. I was convinced that this baby was a girl. But let me tell you, he is definitely a boy. He was not shy at all! 

Jaden smiled for the rest of the appointment :)

The doctor came in after that. He got a really good look at the heart. From the look of it, there are no defects and it's working how it's supposed to. Also, there are two kidneys. They can't tell if the kidneys are working from inside the womb, but there are two so he's got that going for him. All in all, my baby looks good. I am so thrilled!

Because I was so small at birth, I have to go back for ultrasounds on a pretty consistent basis to monitor baby Aronow's growth. But things are looking really good and I am so glad. This baby gets prayed over every day and God is certainly looking out for him.